CAN'T HIT A COWS ARSE WITH A SPADE

The Bug has seen Michael Owen's Sales Brochure. "Were it not for an unhappy spell at Real Madrid and two injury-scarred years at Newcastle, he would be spoken about in the same breath as Torres and Ronaldo and valued in the priceless figures" (Know how he feels, if it weren't for the fact that I am always injured, can't hit a cows arse with a spade in front of goal and I am one paced...slow, I reckon I would be up there with Torres too.....Robin Van P from Holland)