SCOTTISH FOOTBALL FANS "ILL WITH SWINE FLU"

A bus load of football fans on the way to Scotland's FA Cup Final last Saturday have been diagnosed as "ill". Chief Super Mel Gibson of the Scottish Po...lis said, "first things first, you English bastard, we have to understand that this was a bunch of blokes who paid to watch a Scottish football game, so there is something not quite right there for starters. Secondly, it is true some of them are showing signs of a flu like illness but who wouldn't watching Falkirk" Joe Joe McDonut aged 12, who was on the bus said "Some of the guys were drinking Sol and eating Doritos, but nobody really felt ill until I banged one out over a picture of Penelope Cruz in the Daily Record, sorry ma"