CARLO THE COLD CALLER LEARNS THE ALPHABET THE HARDWAY

Carlo just keeps making phone calls, but like a double glazing cold caller he seems to be getting no where. Apart from old biddies like Maldini, who at their age, just like to talk to anyone to pass the time of day. Kaka, Seedorf, Ribery and now Tevez all prefer to teach the new football alphabet to Carlo - ABC - Anywhere But Chelsea. Seems it is not so easy to buy players for Chelsea these days especially when there is more money than Abramovich's around. Never mind, at least he knows what it is like to sell double glazing, should he lose his job.